Self-compassion

Sticking Up for Ourselves and Resisting Bullies and Boundary Crashers

Sticking Up for Our Friends Imagine a very dear friend that you love a great deal. Now imagine that someone is picking on your friend, being cruel to her, bullying her, calling her names. Imagine how indignant you would feel at this bully’s treatment of your friend. I bet you would stand up for your… Continue reading Sticking Up for Ourselves and Resisting Bullies and Boundary Crashers

Self-compassion

Why Self-Love is Not Selfishness and Narcissism: On Becoming a Good Friend to Others by Being a Good Friend to Ourselves

Self-Love Makes Us Uncomfortable People often feel very uncomfortable with the idea of loving themselves. I know that for years I did. Perhaps this is because in the past we have encountered people who seemed to love themselves more than anyone else, and this led them to act in a narcissistic and selfish manner to those… Continue reading Why Self-Love is Not Selfishness and Narcissism: On Becoming a Good Friend to Others by Being a Good Friend to Ourselves

Overcoming Self-loathing and Anxiety

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

In my last two posts, I discussed how to cultivate self-love by thinking of yourself as a child you love  and by speaking to yourself as you would a child or a friend you love.   In this post, I will discuss how you can cultivate self-love by making a self-love pledge. Think of a friend who… Continue reading Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Overcoming Self-loathing and Anxiety, Uncategorized

Using Loving Affirmations to Cultivate Self-Love

In my last post, I discussed the first way we can cultivate self-love, which is to think of ourselves as a little child.  Just like children need love, encouragement, care, and compassion to flourish, we also need these things. Think of yourself like a little child who needs love and nurturing to flourish. This leads… Continue reading Using Loving Affirmations to Cultivate Self-Love

Lists About Important and Silly Stuff, Overcoming Self-loathing and Anxiety, Self-compassion, Uncategorized

Adopting a Loving View of Yourself

Loving Ourselves, Hating Ourselves How well do you like yourself? Which of the following statements best represents your relationship with yourself? I absolutely love myself. I’m okay, but I really get on my nerves sometimes. I have more things I dislike about myself than I love about myself. I hate myself. If you are like… Continue reading Adopting a Loving View of Yourself

Uncategorized

Be Willing: The Day a Total Stranger Gave me Earrings in the Airport

I recently had an adventure in the airport, and it all started because of a book. One day I was reading, and I read the phrase, “Be willing to receive good things.” Two things happened. First, I got very uncomfortable because historically, I have not been good at receiving things from people—gifts, compliments, help, you… Continue reading Be Willing: The Day a Total Stranger Gave me Earrings in the Airport

Body Love and Body Kindness, Healing Difficult Emotions, Lists About Important and Silly Stuff, Practices for Cultivating Love

Five Things You Can Do When You Feel Ugly and Gross and Your Confidence Plummets Into a Deep, Dark Well

Really Bad Days There are days when we feel ugly, gross, worthless, and our confidence plummets into a very dark, deep well. It is no wonder that we struggle with these feelings. We live in a media-saturated society, in which we are surrounded by perfectly fit, airbrushed images all the time. This can teach us… Continue reading Five Things You Can Do When You Feel Ugly and Gross and Your Confidence Plummets Into a Deep, Dark Well

Self-Love and Self-Directed Kindness

A Letter to You on Valentine’s Day (Especially if You are Feeling Crummy This Holiday)

Dear Friend: Today is Valentine’s Day, and you might be feeling particularly crummy. If you are, this letter is especially for you. But even if you are not, this letter is still for you. There is a lot of pressure on Valentine's Day to have or to be the perfect partner and to have a… Continue reading A Letter to You on Valentine’s Day (Especially if You are Feeling Crummy This Holiday)

Uncategorized

How to Be Ourselves When We Don’t Know Who We Are

One of the most common pieces of advice we hear growing up is “Just be yourself”. I always found this advice so confusing and frustrating because I felt like it meant that somewhere in myself, I was fully formed and already wonderful and great—I just had to find this self, and all would be okay.… Continue reading How to Be Ourselves When We Don’t Know Who We Are